


Gravity Incorporated

by RockSunner



Series: Lebam AU [7]
Category: Gravity Falls, Scooby Doo! Mystery Incorporated (TV 2010)
Genre: Adventure, Alternate Universe - Shared Universe, Animal Transformation, Crossover, F/M, Good and Evil Teams, Greek Mythology - Freeform, Humor, Mystery, Nibiru, Planespheric Disk, Prophecy, Romance, Save the Universe, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-19
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-03-31 06:54:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3968626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RockSunner/pseuds/RockSunner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a cross-over between "Gravity Falls" and "Scooby-Doo Mystery Incorporated." All characters belong to Warner Brothers and Disney, not me. The road trip of Mystery Inc, formerly of Crystal Cove, takes them to Gravity Falls, Oregon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mystery Shack Tourists

"Look gang," said Fred, pointing to a sign on the road. "Visit the world-famous Mystery Shack in Gravity Falls, Oregon. You will be amazed."

"That sounds terribly fake," said Velma.

"Like, we'd better check it out anyway. We're desperate for mysteries since Crystal Cove has been rewritten without them," said Shaggy.

"We used to bump into mysteries everywhere," said Daphne "Now they're so rare..."

"Rare," said Scooby-Doo. "I'd like rare roast reef, rokay?"

"We promised ourselves we'd hit every mystery on the way to Miskatonic University," said Fred.

"And every fast-food joint, don't forget," said Shaggy. "Look at that sign: 'Visit Greasy's Diner in Gravity Falls, Oregon. We have food.'"

"Re have food!" said Scooby. "Yummy!"

"Oh, dear," said Daphne. "More indigestion."

"Like, Scoob and I never get indigestion," said Shaggy.

"But we do," said Velma.

"Then you check out the Mystery Shack while we eat," said Shaggy.

They dropped off Shaggy and Scooby at the diner, and drove a short distance down the road to the Mystery Shack.

"Mystery Hack," said Velma. "They've lost a letter on the ground. This looks like the worst sort of tourist trap."

"Maybe we should expose it as a fraud?" Fred suggested.

"No. My parents used to run this sort of place," said Velma. "Now they run a regular convenience store with a sideline in souvenirs. Maybe this will bring back old memories."

They got out of the car and approached the front door. An old man came out to greet them in a dark suit, wearing a fez and sporting a cane with an eight-ball on top.

"Welcome, sightsuckers! I mean, sightseers. You've come to the right place. I am Mr. Mystery, owner of the Mystery Shack and your guide to its wonders."

"Not Mr. E?" asked Fred.

"Mr. Mystery, though that other name has a nice ring to it. Maybe I should take it," said Mr. Mystery.

"It's taken," said Velma. "What is your real name, if I may ask?"

"Stan Pines. Anyway, come and see what we have inside. You'll be amazed!"

The place was cluttered with an assortment of junk, like a fake jackelope, a "sascrotch", a picture of a horse riding another horse, and so on.

Stan showed them around, while a bored red-haired teenager read a magazine behind the counter, a young man wearing a brown baseball cap swept the floor and a young girl with braces and a big smile dusted the nick-knacks on the shelves, giggling to herself as she made the Stan Pine bobble-heads nod.

"We're Mystery Incorporated. We investigate paranormal incidents and monster cases of all kinds," said Fred.

"Yeah? I've never heard of you," said Stan.

"Nobody has, any more. We used to be big in Crystal Cove, California," said Daphne.

"Now we need a new case to reestablish our reputation," said Velma. "Any monster sightings we could look into? Reports of strange happenings in town?"

"I know of nothing like that," said Stan. "The best monster souvenirs are right here, but if you're not buying..."

He looked like he was preparing to shoo them out.

"Wait, Gruncle Stan," said the young man, coming over. "May I talk to them for a minute?"

"Time's money, kid. Better not spend it on non-paying customers," said Stan.

Shaggy and Scooby came into the store.

"Hi gang, we had a good light snack of two dozen burgers, three pizzas, and all the pies at Greasy's. Like, look at all this cool stuff!"

Stan looked at the new potential customer. "He's with you?"

"Yes," said Fred.

"Then you can talk to my grand-nephew here, Dipper Pines, while I give him the tour."

"I'll have a case of Pitt's soda, and all of those ice cream bars, and..." Shaggy said.

"Hi Dipper," said Daphne, bending down to greet him. "What's up?"

"H-hi," said Dipper, looking a bit red in the face. He looked back and forth between the girl behind the counter and Daphne.

"Tempted to get a new girlfriend besides Wendy, Dipper?" came a voice behind them. The smiling girl looked out from behind one of the shelves.

"Not now, Mabel," said Dipper. "These are experts on the paranormal. I need to consult with them about a monster."

"In most of our cases the monsters have turned out to be fake," said Velma. "But we've seen the real thing, too."

"You'll keep an open mind, then?" asked Dipper.

"Yes, but not so open that our brains fall out," said Velma.

"Brains," giggled Mabel. "My brother thinks my new boyfriend is a zombie who's going to eat my brains. But I'm really hoping he's a vampire."

"You've read the Dusk books?" Daphne asked.

"Oh yes," said Mabel. "I love them."

"What is your boyfriend like?" asked Daphne.

"Mysterious, dark clothes, with a hood over most of his face," said Mabel.

"Clumsy, shambling, and creepy," said Dipper.

"Oh, there he is now," said Mabel. "Hi, Norman! I'll be right there. Norman's taking me on a date out in the woods today."

"Be careful," said Dipper.

"Your brother's right, Mabel," said Daphne. "He doesn't have to be any kind of monster to be dangerous."

"He's perfectly nice. I'm not letting anyone spoil my summer romance with conspiracy theories," said Mabel, looking stubborn. She headed to the door.

"See you, Mabel," said the teenager behind the counter, smiling and giving her a lazy wave.

"See you, Wendy," said Mabel.

"Have a nice day," said Stan.

"Thanks, Gruncle Stan," said Mabel.

They saw her head towards the woods, with Norman staggering and stumbling behind.

"Your great-uncle doesn't have a problem with her going out alone with him?" Fred asked Dipper.

"No, but he's not very protective," said Dipper. "I've been taking some videos of Norman, trying to get evidence that he's a zombie. Watch them with me and I'll show you what I mean."

Dipper got his video camera and played back the short scenes he had recorded. Shaggy and Scooby gathered up their snacks and came over to join them.

"He seems to be very clumsy, all right," said Daphne. "But girls can find that endearing."

"The way he walks is odd," said Velma. "I'd say he was double-jointed, or..."

They came to a scene where Norman dropped one hand to the ground, picked it back up, and stuck it back into his sleeve.

"Aah! Zombie!" said Dipper.

"Zoinks!" said Shaggy.

"I'm starting to think it's a stack of midgets in disguise," said Velma. "But he's not what he seems, and that means she's in danger."

"Let's go after them," said Fred. "To the Mystery Machine."

As they crossed the yard, a large bald man handed Dipper a shovel, "For the zombies."

"Thanks, Soos," said Dipper.

"And here's a baseball bat, in case you run into a piñata," said Soos.

Dipper took the bat also, and they headed to the car.

"Would the golf cart be better at getting though the trees?" Dipper asked.

"I'm very good at driving this off-road," said Fred.

* * *

The gnomes Jeff, Steve, Carson, Jason, and Shmebulock had revealed themselves to Mabel and asked her to be the gnome queen. When she refused, Jeff said they were going to kidnap her. They fought her to the ground and began to fasten ropes over her, like the Lilliputians did to Gulliver.

"Don't tie her to the ground. Get ropes around her arms and legs. We need to get her to the crystals in the woods that give off the shrinking light," said Jeff.

"You jerks! I can't marry one thousand of you! What are you thinking?" Mabel said.

"Don't worry, honey," said Jeff. "We've got it all scheduled out. You only need to handle one hundred a day. Each will get intimate time with you every ten days, which seems perfectly fair and reasonable."

"One hundred a day? That would kill me," said Mabel.

"No it won't, darling," said Jeff. "We'll make you immortal, like us. You'll stay our young and beautiful queen forever."

"Help!" Mabel screamed. She fought the ropes, but they were too tight.

* * *

The Mystery Incorporated gang and Dipper found the place where the gnomes were holding Mabel captive.

"What are you doing to my sister?" Dipper asked.

"This is all a misunderstanding," Jeff told them. "Dipper, your sister is in no danger, she's just going to marry all thousand of us gnomes and be our queen for all eternity. Right, honey?"

"You guys are butt-faces!" Mabel yelled.

"Give her back!" Dipper demanded, threatening them with the shovel.

"We agree. Free your prisoner!" said Fred, who had the baseball bat.

"You can't stop us," said Jeff. "You have no idea what we're capable of. We gnomes are a powerful race!"

Dipper threw Jeff out of the way with a shovel. The members of Mystery Incorporated guarded his back as other snarling gnomes tried to close in, kicking and throwing the gnomes into the woods.

Dipper used the shovel blade to break the ropes holding Mabel down. She jumped up, and when Steve closed in she gave him a kick that made him throw up a rainbow.

"Come on, lets get out of here," called Fred, and they all dove into the Mystery Machine.

"Gnomes of the forest, assemble! Get our queen back!" called Jeff.

Gnomes spilled from the trees from every direction, and began to link up into a huge combined figure.

"Riant rome!" said Scooby-Doo.

"Like, don't wait until they're complete, Fred. Step on the gas!" Shaggy said.

The Mystery Machine charged down the road with the giant combined monster in hot pursuit.

They smashed through a "Visit Gravity Falls" sign and headed toward a small cliff.

"Watch out!" Dipper yelled.

"Don't worry, I've tricked this baby out," said Fred. He pressed a button that activated springs, and the van landed safely, if a bit roughly.

The race continued until the gnomes pulled up a huge tree and threw it ahead of the car, blocking the road. If they had been in a smaller car like the golf cart, they might have gotten around or under it, but as it was they had to stop.

The giant combined gnome raised its arms above the car. "Surrender our queen before we do something terrible," Jeff said. "Or, if you'd rather, we'll take the pretty redhead."

"You don't have to do that for me," said Mabel to Daphne. "This is my monster problem."

"Hey, I'm pretty too," said Velma. "Why doesn't anybody ever think of kidnapping me?"

"Hmmm," said Jeff. He held a mumbled conversation with the other gnomes.

"All right, if you're willing you've got a deal, honey," said Jeff. "What's your name?"

Velma popped open the skylight at the top of the van. "I'm Velma. Want to kiss the bride?"

"Sure I will," said Jeff. "Lean down, guys, so I can get on top of the van."

He came close, puckering his lips for a kiss, and then high-powered air blowers and fans popped out of the roof of the car.

"It's a trap, suckers," said Fred. "We've dealt with creatures made of swarms before. Compared to the Cicada Monster you're not that scary."

Jeff was blown back and he bowled into the others, loosening their grips. In a moment the gnomes were being scattered by the fans in every direction.

"You haven't heard the last of us," Jeff called as he vanished into the distance.

The other gnomes seemed disorganized without their leader. Fred revved up the Mystery Machine and jumped the log using the springs.

"Thanks, Mystery Machine gang," said Mabel.

"Mystery Incorporated," Velma said.

"And thanks, Dipper, for getting their help. I should have listened to you. It sucks that my first boyfriend turned out to be a pack of gnomes."

"Oh well, maybe your next one will be a vampire," Dipper joked.

Mabel gave him a playful punch in the shoulder, a pretty hard one.

"Like, I guess our work here is done," said Shaggy. "We'll drop you off at the Mystery Shack and get back on the road."

"You could stay longer," said Dipper. "I'm sure there will be more monsters and mysteries around Gravity Falls."

"There might be, but we try to keep on the move," said Fred.

"There used to be, like, a curse on us that attracted criminals to dress up as monsters all the time, to make cases for us to solve," said Shaggy.

"Really? How cool is that?" said Mabel.

"We're not sure the curse is still there, but it might be," said Daphne. "You'll have enough of your own mysteries without us creating more."

"You've got your own mystery gang, too," said Velma. "Dipper, you've got the book knowledge to be the researcher, like me. That was an excellent investigation you did on Norman."

"Thanks," said Dipper. "Can you give me any more pointers as paranormal experts?"

"In our experience a four-person team works best," said Fred. "I suggest you ask Wendy and Soos to come in on cases. They could be your equivalents to Daphne and me."

"What about me?" asked Mabel.

"Can you be, like, silly and babble a lot?" asked Shaggy.

"It's what I do," said Mabel.

"Then you can be the Shaggy of the team," said Shaggy.

"Do rou have a talking ranimal?" asked Scooby.

"No, but I'll look for one," said Mabel. "I'd really like to find a talking pig."

"Then you can be Mystery Incorporated, Gravity Falls branch," said Velma. "I'll give you my cell number in case you need a consultation by phone. If you really need us, we'll come back."

"Yay! We're Gravity Incorporated," said Mabel, with a big grin.

"Gravity Incorporated," said Dipper.

"Scooby-Dooby-Dooo!"


	2. Romantic Interlude

Shaggy and Velma lay side by side in their sleeping bags, looking up at the stars.

Scooby lay on top of his own sleeping bag on Shaggy's other side. He was asleep and snoring.

"Like, I'm glad Scooby's not jealous of you any more," said Shaggy. "Going through that final monster deal underground pulled us all together."

"It was good to solve a mystery again today, too," said Velma. "We always feel closer when we finish a case."

"Like, this time it was monsters disguised as a human, not a human as a monster," said Shaggy.

"It was still a monster disguise case, pretty much like old times," said Velma.

"Like, we ought to stay one more day in Gravity Falls and see if another mystery happens," said Shaggy.

"It would test my theory that we have a case-causing curse," said Velma. "Especially if it's a normal case, like an old man Withers disguised as a monster. Not gnomes or anything supernatural."

"I'm glad those gnomes didn't have a paralysis touch, like the fake Gnome did," said Shaggy.

"They were horrible enough without that," said Velma.

"You weren't tempted by their offer to be their eternally young queen?" Shaggy asked.

"Ick. That would be hell on earth," said Velma. "Besides, I think we have eternal youth already."

"You're kidding," said Shaggy.

"I think there's something magical about all those mystery solving groups that formed around Crystal Cove, something that gave them endless youth as long as they were together. Like that group of monks, the Fraternitas Mysterium. It was 135 years from when they met the vanishing conquistadors to when the old city of Crystal Cove fell into the sea, but they lived to see it happen."

"That's weird. I never thought about the dates," said Shaggy.

"Now that the evil thing is gone from Crystal Cove, my mind is clearer, and I remember more years in high school than we should have had. At least ten more. We repeated our senior year over and over, without seeming to age at all," said Velma.

"Hey, I guess you're right. I remember. Like, I might have been held back, but you wouldn't have been," said Shaggy.

"One time you said it seemed like we'd been teenagers forever. Another time Fred said he wasn't sure what graduation even was," said Velma.

"Like, Groundhog Day, but it was like Groundhog Year instead," said Shaggy.

"What our poor parents must have gone through," said Velma. "No wonder they were all a little crazy before things changed."

"The only real friends we could have had were each other. Every other classmate moved on and forgot us," said Shaggy.

"Marcie remembers several years of friendship with me, but that's new with the time-line change. Did your new time-line self have friends?"

"I found about a dozen girl's phone numbers on my cell phone at home," said Shaggy. "I think that version of me was popular on the dating scene, along with being a master chef."

"It doesn't seem real," said Velma.

"Like, it wasn't," said Shaggy. "Those memories are somebody else's. Don't be jealous of what never was."

"You either, about Marcie," said Velma.

"Were you more than friends?" asked Shaggy.

"Even if I could remember I wouldn't kiss and tell," said Velma. "Let's call it a no. The only person I've ever really gone for is you."

"Same here, for you," said Shaggy.

"It'll always be Daphne and Fred, and you and me," said Velma.

They kissed and snuggled together in their joined sleeping bags.


	3. Gobblewonker

The next morning, Fred asked, "Well gang, ready to move on?"

Velma said, "Shaggy and I talked about it last night, and we'd like to stay one more day, to see if this place is a supernatural hot-spot like Crystal Cove used to be."

"What if it's just our curse?" Daphne asked. "We used to cause mysteries wherever we went."

"If we get more real monsters, it's the place. If we get an ordinary disguise case, it's our curse," said Velma. " And if we get nothing, we just move on."

"Like, I picked up a copy of the local paper," said Shaggy.

The paper was called the "Wacky News." The front cover showed an illustration of bizarrely conjoined twins.

Daphne pointed to the ad on the back, "'Child Psychic'. That might be worth checking out."

Velma said, "I'm more interested in this article inside." She showed the others the first inside pages.

"A ruman-sized rampster ball?" asked Scooby.

"No, the monster photo contest," said Velma. "That might bring out real monsters or fakes. Last year's winner took his picture on Scuttlebutt Island, at Lake Gravity Falls. We should go there."

"I'd rather see Gideon, the psychic," said Daphne.

"Let's split up, gang," said Fred. "Daphne and I will go check out Gideon, while Velma, Shaggy, and Scooby check out the island."

"After breakfast," said Shaggy.

"Yeah, after reakfast," said Scooby, licking his lips

By the time the Mystery Machine dropped Shaggy and Velma off at the lake, most people were already out in the water. It was the opening day of fishing season.

"Like, I hope there's still a boat we can rent," said Shaggy.

They were walking behind the fishing supply store, looking for boats, when they saw Dipper and Mabel. Dipper was wearing a slightly-singed hat with a blue pine tree on a white background. Mabel was carrying a small, cute pig.

"Mabel, what an adorable pig," said Velma.

"Yeah, isn't he! I call him Waddles, because he waddles," said Mabel.

Scooby touched noses with Waddles. "Hi there, Raddles. I'm Scooby-Doo"

"Oi ere Ooo-eee-oo," said Waddles.

"Like, he talks," said Shaggy.

"Hey, would you hold on to Waddles for a few minutes, and give him to me when we come back here to buy sunscreen? I have to get him out of the way so my enemy Pacifica doesn't win him in a weight-guessing contest at the fair," said Mabel.

"Sure, I'll hold him for you," said Velma. The pig snuggled into her arms.

"Okay, I know he's in good hands. Watch out for a big bald man in a jumpsuit. Don't let him get Waddles," said Mabel.

"Like, we won't," said Shaggy. "Who is that guy, anyway?"

"Time police or something," said Dipper. "It's a long story."

"We can go now, Dipper," said Mabel. "I'll help you win that bottle game again, so you and Wendy can go on 'The Tunnel of Love and Corn Dogs' ride together."

"Thanks, Mabel. This was a wonderful idea," said Dipper. "I'm glad you remembered Shaggy and Velma would be here, so we could hand over Waddles without meeting ourselves."

"You're welcome. Say, why do they call it 'The Tunnel of Love and Corn Dogs'? I know the ride cars are shaped like corn dogs, but do they hide real corn dogs in there?" asked Mabel.

"Sometimes," said Dipper. "Especially the third time around." His ears turned a deep shade of pink.

"Are you up for getting it to happen again?" asked Mabel.

"I sure am," said Dipper. "Bye, Shaggy and Velma."

They walked around the corner and there was a zipping sound and a flash of light.

"Like, that was odd," said Shaggy. "What do you think it was all about?"

"If I didn't know it was impossible, I'd say time travel," said Velma. "But they were probably just playing a trick on us."

They walked around the corner, and saw Mabel, Dipper, and Soos coming to the front of the fishing gear store.

"Hi, Shaggy, Velma, and Scooby. Nice to see you again," said Dipper.

"Hi yourself, Dipper. It wasn't that long ago," said Velma.

"Hi dudes," said Soos.

"Hi, guys," said Mabel. "Wow, what a cute pig you have there, Velma."

"He's yours," said Velma. "You call him Waddles, because he waddles."

"Oooh, thank you!" said Mabel. "He's so adorable. Everything is different now."

Velma handed over the pig, and Mabel took him in her arms. "I love you, Waddles. I'm Mabel."

"Oieh-ooell," said Waddles.

"Did you say Mabel, or doorbell?" asked Mabel.

"Oieh-ooell," said Waddles again.

"You did say Mabel! Now we have our talking animal mascot for Gravity Incorporated. I thought I was going to have to be stuck making a pelican talk for our monster hunt today," said Mabel.

"Like, did you say m-monster hunt?" asked Shaggy.

"Yeah, Old Man McGucket said he saw the Gobblewonker, the legendary giant sea monster that lives at the bottom of Lake Gravity Falls, out near Scuttlebutt Island, and that it smashed his boat."

"Robbleronker? Smashed roat?" asked Scooby. He jumped into Shaggy's arms.

"Nobody believed him, but we're going to check it out," said Mabel.

"There's a hundred-dollar prize for getting the best monster photo today," said Dipper. "I'm going to buy seventeen disposable cameras, so nothing goes wrong with the pictures."

"We'll take my boat, the SS Cool Dude," said Soos. "It's got a wheel, and chairs, all that boat stuff. Want to come along?"

"Yes, we would love to," said Velma. "Thank you."

"Ruh-uh," said Scooby.

"Like, we'd better sit this one out," said Shaggy. "I'm allergic to sea monsters. Especially to being eaten by one."

"Come on, we're doing this," said Velma. "That's why we stayed today, to find monsters and mysteries."

The two cowards reluctantly agreed.

"This is so much cooler than fishing with Gruncle Stan and listening to his '1001 Yuk 'Em Ups' jokes," said Mabel.

"Yes, ditching him was a good plan," said Dipper.

"Spending time with your uncle would be nice, too," said Velma. "We could take on the monster hunt with Soos and let you two go with him."

"No!" said both Dipper and Mabel together. Waddles oinked agreement.

"All right, let's do this together," said Velma.

"After we buy sun screen," said Soos.

"And instant cameras," said Dipper.

"And lots of snacks," said Shaggy.

* * *

They set out on the lake. There was a discussion about the disposable cameras, and they ended up losing several of them overboard. There was a discussion about who would be captain, ending with Dipper as Captain, Mabel as Co-captain, and Soos as Associate Co-captain.

"What's your plan for getting close to the monster, Captain Dipper?" Velma asked.

"We'll lure it to us with this barrel of fish-food," said Dipper.

"Permission to taste, Captain?" asked Soos.

"Permission granted," said Dipper.

"Permission co-granted," said Mabel.

"Permission associate co-granted," said Soos.

He grabbed a piece of chum from the barrel and put it in his mouth, then gagged and spit over the side. He rubbed his tongue, trying to get the taste off.

"Dude, I don't know what I expected that to taste like," said Soos.

"Rummy!" said Scooby.

They turned back and found that Scooby was lying on his back with a full belly. He had consumed the entire barrel-full.

"Like, you didn't save any for me, old pal?" asked Shaggy.

Scooby threw him one fish, which Shaggy caught in his mouth and swallowed whole.

"Not picky eaters, those two," said Soos.

"But you wasted all our bait," said Dipper.

"Don't worry," said Velma. "The Gobblewonker will smell all the fish on Shaggy and Scooby. They can be the bait."

"Zoinks!" said Shaggy.

"Rait again. It's not rair," said Scooby.

The boat drifted through the fog toward the island. Mabel was at the prow, holding Waddles and chatting with him as they went.

"Mabel, you're supposed to be lookout," said Dipper.

"I am. Look out!" Mabel said. She kicked a soccer ball in his direction, hitting him in the stomach.

The boat ran aground on the beach.

"We're here. I'm a lookout genius" said Mabel. She got off the boat, carrying Waddles in her arms.

The others jumped out and they began walking along the mist-covered trail. They came to a sign saying "Scuttlebutt Island."

Soos covered the first part with his arm. "Hey look, Butt Island."

"You rapscallion," said Mabel with a big grin.

Shaggy chuckled. Velma and Dipper didn't laugh. Mabel teased Dipper, asking if he was scared. While she was fooling around, they heard a strange noise.

"Was that your stomach?" she asked Soos.

"No, mine usually makes whale noises," said Soos,

Mabel listened to his stomach and said, "Wow, how majestic!"

Shaggy said, "Like, my stomach growls a lot, but whenever someone asks that question on a monster hunt it turns out to be a real monster."

"Reah, real ronster," said Scooby.

While they were distracted, a possum ran off with their lantern.

"I can't see anything," Dipper complained.

Soos said, "Dudes, maybe this isn't worth it."

"Like, I agree," said Shaggy. "Let's get out of here."

"It's worth it," said Dipper. "Imagine what would happen if we got that picture. I could be on TV."

"And I could buy a human-sized hamster ball. Waddles and I can roll around in it wherever we go for the rest of our lives," said Mabel.

"Oouh-uh," said Waddles, in a tone of disapproval.

"I'm in!" said Dipper, returning from a flashback of fame and glory.

"Me too!" said Mabel, returning from her own flashback of the hamster ball.

They set off toward the other end of the island. Soos, Velma, Shaggy, and Scooby followed.

Mabel was making up a silly chant about things that rhyme with Mabel when they heard a strange noise and a flock of birds took off into the sky.

"This is it," said Dipper. "Get your cameras ready."

They saw a mist-shrouded outline that looked like the sea monster ahead, but when they ran closer it turned out to be a bunch of old barrels with a clan of beavers chewing on it.

"The reavers say, 'We love cavorting'," said Scooby.

Soos was delighted and took many pictures of the beavers. The others were disappointed.

"What was that noise, then? I heard a monster noise," said Dipper.

They looked over and saw one of the beavers was playing with an old chainsaw, which was making a growling noise.

"Maybe that old guy was crazy after all," said Dipper. "What are we going to say to Gruncle Stan? We ditched him over nothing."

"Like, we got to see some animals, anyway," said Shaggy. "I love beavers."

"I know you do," said Velma.

Then they heard a splash, and a huge shape headed their way.

"Come on, now's our chance," said Dipper as the others backed away. "The cameras are easy to use. Just point and shoot."

"Graaaagh!" growled the Gobblewonker, snapping at him.

"Run!" shouted Shaggy.

Shaggy rushed back and picked up Dipper, using his fast escape sprint to get ahead of the monster. Velma used her great upper body strength to scoop up Mabel, who had Waddles in her arms. Scooby ran beside Soos. They rushed down the trail, with the sea serpent slithering behind them and pushing trees out of its way as it went.

They jumped back into the boat. Soos got it going, but the monster still pursued them. Dipper tried to take a picture, but the lens in his camera was cracked. Soos used most of the rest of the cameras to throw at the monster, and broke the one he threw to Dipper.

They were chased all over the lake. When they crashed through the beaver barrels, the boat became full of the animals, chewing on everything they could. One grabbed Soos by the face. Shaggy, Velma, Scooby, and Dippr got busy pulling off beavers and throwing them back into the water while Mabel steered. When they finally got all the beavers clear, they were headed for the Gravity Falls waterfall and it looked like they were going to be cornered by the monster.

Dipper pulled out a book with the number "3" on the cover. "Head for the waterfall! There might be a cave under it."

"Might be?" asked Mabel.

They drove under the waterfall and into the hidden cave. The boat ran aground. The Gobblewonker tried to follow them, but it got stuck in the hole.

Dipper pulled out his last camera from under his hat and took picture after picture. Then the Gobblewonker's struggles knocked down a stalactite, which hit its head with a loud clank.

Velma approached the beast and rapped on its side. "As I suspected, it's a robot."

They climbed up to the top and opened a hatch. A hunched, bearded old man was inside, furiously operating levers to try to get his robot going again.

He turned and saw them looking at him. "Oh, banjo polish!"

"Old Man McGucket?" said Dipper, Mabel, and Soos in chorus.

"I just wanted attention. And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids... Now, why did I say that?"

He told his story, and it turned out McGucket had built giant robots before when he had grievances with people.

"I hoped to catch my son's fancy with a fifteen-ton aquatic robot," said McGucket. "In retrospect it seems a bit contrived. Us old-timers will do most anything for a little quality time with our family."

Mabel and Dipper looked guilty. They pulled out fishing hats with sewed-on lettering reading "Dippy" and "Mabe-l".

"Dude, I guess the real lake monster is, like, you two. Sorry, it just, like, popped into my head there," said Soos.

"Like, he says 'like', like me!" said Shaggy. "Maybe he's the real Shaggy of Gravity Incorporated. That leaves the role of leader to you, Mabel."

"I proudly accept," said Mabel. "I'm sure I'll be as good a leader as your Fred is."

"I'm sure you will," said Velma.

"Did you ever talk to your son about how you felt, Mr. McGucket?" asked Mabel.

"Nope, just got straight to work on the robot. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to fix up my death ray," said McGucket.

"Well, so much for the photo contest," said Dipper.

"You could still submit the monster shots," said Velma. "They don't have to be real."

"No, I don't want to get a lonely old man in trouble," said Dipper.

"We still have one roll of film," said Mabel.

"What do you want to do with it?" asked Dipper,

They got the damaged boat of of the cave with some difficulty, and found Stan Pines out on the water alone.

"I thought you guys were off playing spin-the-bottle with Soos," said Stan. "And your new tourist pals."

"We spent all day trying to find a legendary dinosaur," said Dipper.

"But the only dinosaur we really want to hang out with is you," said Mabel.

"Save your sympathy," said Stan. "I've been making friends. I even had a run-in with the lake police. I have to wear this ankle bracelet now, so that will be fun."

"I guess there isn't room in that boat for a few more?" asked Dipper.

"No tourists," said Stan.

"You go ahead with your uncle," Velma said. "We'll get this wrecked boat to shore for you, Soos."

"What about my new pet, Waddles?" asked Mabel.

"A pig on my boat?" said Stan. "I don't think so."

"If not, I'm going ashore with Mystery Incorporated," said Mabel.

"All right, you can bring the pig," said Stan. "He can serve as emergency rations."

Mabel glared at him.

"Just kidding," said Stan. "Want to hear some jokes from my uncle-approved joke book?"

"Okay," said Dipper.

"My ex-wife still misses me... but her aim is getting better!"

* * *

Shaggy, Scooby, and Velma reunited with the rest of the gang back at the Mystery Shack.

"Like, how did it go with you guys?" Shaggy asked.

"Gideon was a complete fake," said Daphne. "He's ten years old or so, and he had the nerve to ask me out. I told him I was taken, and he should find someone closer to his own age."

"How did he take it?" asked Velma.

"Not too well at first, but then he changed his mind and said he'd start looking," said Daphne. "I wished him good luck with that."

"Like, did you have to hit him to change his mind?" asked Shaggy.

"A little," said Fred. "Daphne did most of it. How did your day go?"

"Same old, same old," said Velma. "There was an Old Man McGucket who built a giant sea-monster robot to get attention from his son."

"Aha, just as we expected. Our curse is working again. That wouldn't have happened if we hadn't been here," said Fred.

"Like, I'm not sure of that," said Shaggy. "He'd been building it for a while."

"It always works like that," said Velma. "The cases just come to the crisis point because we're around."

"Well, it's time we moved on, then," said Daphne.

"Like, another case closed," said Shaggy. "We'll let Gravity Incorporated take it from here."

"Scooby-Dooby-Dooo!"


	4. Gideon Vengeful

Velma got a call from Mabel and Dipper while the Mystery Inc. gang was at a fast-food stop, the seventh of the day for Shaggy and Scooby.

"Hi Velma," said Dipper. "You remember you said we could call you in an emergency?"

"Yes," said Velma.

"We've got one now," said Mabel. "A doozie."

"I'll put you on speaker-phone on this end," said Velma.

"Like, what's going on there now?" asked Shaggy.

"Remember Gideon Gleeful?" asked Dipper.

"I sure do. The little creep tried to ask me on a date," said Daphne.

"Been there, done that," said Mabel. "Be glad you said no. Gleeful turned vengeful once I stopped going out with him. Brrr, did he ever."

"Gideon has stolen the deed to the Mystery Shack," said Dipper. We've all had to move in with Soos' mother, and we're running out of food and money, so Grunkle Stan says he'll have to send us home."

"How did he commit the crime?" asked Fred. "Did he wear a monster disguise?"

"Not exactly," said Mabel. "He blew up the safe with dynamite. BOOM!"

"That's not the kind of case we handle," said Daphne. "Wouldn't it be better to call the police?"

"The police in Gravity Falls?" Mabel giggled. "They're a complete joke."

"We can relate to that," said Velma.

"There's a supernatural side to the case, too," said Dipper. "Before he blew up the safe, Gideon tried to get the combination out of Grunkle Stan's mind using a dream demon."

"Ream remon!" Scooby-Doo said, jumping into Shaggy's arms.

"Now that's our kind of case," said Fred. "We'll be there as quick as we can."

"How quick?" asked Mabel.

"We're just reached Miskatonic University, in Arkham, Massachusetts. It will take a couple of days to drive back there," said Fred.

"That will be too late," said Dipper. "Tomorrow at sunset we'll be on a bus back home."

"Then we'll fly out," said Daphne. "Anything for our Gravity Falls branch."

"But as long as we're here at Miskatonic, we should take a little time to talk with our consultant on the supernatural, Mr. E," said Velma.

"Mr. E? Oooh, is that a secret name?" asked Mabel.

"It stands for Mr. Ellison. Harlan Ellison, the famous writer is our consultant," said Daphne.

"Okay, do what you have to, but come out quickly, please," said Dipper.

"Will do," said Fred.

"And please text us all the details you can on the dream demon," Velma said.

Scooby shivered and moaned at the mention of the monster.

* * *

Harlan Ellison, the new Mr. E, met with the gang in his office. "So you've turned up a supernatural case already on your way here. I'm not surprised that there are other cosmic hot-spots besides the one here at Miskatonic University."

"Gravity Falls seems to be another, all right," said Daphne.

"It's, like, a monster fiesta, according to our friends Dipper and Mabel," said Shaggy.

"Ronster riesta," said Scooby. "But no rinyatas, even though we took a raseball rat just in case."

"Shaggy, didn't I tell you that 'like' should be used as a verb, as in 'I don't like the misuse of the word like,' or as part of a comparison, as in 'It's like nails on a chalkboard to me', and not as a pause while you think of what to say next? Velma, can't you get your boyfriend to use English properly?" asked Ellison.

"I tried rubber bands and it drove him away, so now I've decided I like him like he is," said Velma, giving Shaggy a supportive side-hug.

"The triumph of hormones over verbal correctness," said Ellison. "How unfortunate."

"Anyway, we have a description of Bill Cipher, the dream demon," said Fred. "He looks a bit like the eye in the pyramid on a dollar bill, but yellow and flat like a triangle."

Fred presented his cell phone with a sketch that Dipper had attached to an email along with other notes.

"Yellow, flat, and triangular," said Ellison. "He can affect dreams and he puts symbolic messages on his surface. Does that remind you of anything?"

"Jinkies... a piece of the Planispheric Disk?" asked Velma. "I thought every trace of the Evil Entity was eliminated from this time-line."

"Evil is never completely eliminated; it just takes new forms. I believe that the six pieces, charged with the Entity's ebbing energy, have crossed into this new continuum and may be attempting to bring the Entity back from the void where you trapped it. We have now located two of the six potential hot-spots: Miskatonic University and Gravity Falls."

"Zoinks!" said Shaggy. "Not that universe-eating thing again."

"Ruh-roh," said Scooby.

"We need to get there as quickly as we can," said Fred.

"I can provide quick transport," said the new Mr. E. "Rick Owens, the president of Creationex, is a fan of my science-fiction writing, as most techno-nerds are. I asked him to set up a private flight for you in one of his corporate planes. You can even bring the Mystery Machine in the cargo bay."

* * *

Mystery Inc. drove to the local airport and found the Creationex Plane. A bald man with a serious expression met them.

"Hello, young people," said the man. "I'm Ed Machine, your pilot."

The gang knew him from their past time-line, but they had never met in this one. They introduced themselves, got the Mystery Machine into the cargo bay, and boarded the plane.

"I hope you don't mind some company," said Ed. "Mr. Owens asked that we bring along his favorite pet for a little outing and adventure."

He lifted the cover of a bird cage and said, "May I present..."

The parrot interrupted, "I can introduce myself, Ed Machine. Hello, kinder. I am Professor Pericles."


	5. Best Laid Plans

"I hear that you kinder are on a mission. Would you mind if I joined you?" asked Pericles.

The gang looked at each other, a bit taken aback by the sight of their former enemy, unscarred and smiling pleasantly.

"What do you think?" Daphne asked Fred.

"Zoinks... Pericles..." said Shaggy.

Scooby growled, "Rericles."

"I am quite harmless, I assure you," said Pericles.

"Sorry for our strange reactions. We've lived in a parallel world where you were far from harmless," said Daphne. "But everyone from that world is gone and only good versions remain here."

Fred said, "I think we should give you the benefit of the doubt."

"Except, like, where we're going... it may put you under the influence of the Evil Entity," said Shaggy.

"I have difficulty believing in parallel worlds and evil entities," said Pericles. "I am a bird of science."

"In the other world you were the Entity's most devoted follower," said Daphne.

"I am not that other parrot. I am highly intelligent and I will not succumb to any evil influences," said Pericles. "I will help you fight whatever you may face."

"All right Pericles, you're in," said Fred. "We're going to Gravity Falls, Oregon. Paranormal activity has been reported there, as well as a crime."

"All right with that, Scoob?" asked Shaggy.

"Rif you say so," said Scooby.

They filled Pericles in on what they knew about Gravity Falls and their experiences with gnomes, Li'l Gideon, and the fake Gobblewonker.

* * *

They arrived too late that night to get together with Mabel and Dipper, but they met the next day in the Mystery Machine to discuss plans.

"We wanted to bring Soos and Wendy too," said Dipper. "But Wendy is packing to go work at her cousin's lumber mill, and Soos has taken a bunch of odd jobs to make ends meet."

Mabel said, "It's terrible how everyone is getting split up. I was almost too down this morning to wear a happy sweater, but then I thought about you coming and helping us, so I cheered myself up and picked this one."

The sweater showed a golden-yellow dog with blue eyes and a goofy expression, with the caption "Flavor Pup."

"Rhere's Raddles?" asked Scooby.

Mabel's smile disappeared instantly. "Gideon's got him! The buttface dressed Waddles up as a copy of himself, as a mascot for Gideon Land."

"The first order of business is to discuss how to recover your great-uncle's deed from the thief," said Fred. "Then we can get Waddles back, too."

"It won't be easy," said Dipper. "He has two hired goons who throw anyone he doesn't like off the property."

"Like, I don't understand how he could just take over like that," said Shaggy.

"If the deed is in your great-uncle's name and not signed over to Mr. Gleeful, it does not convey ownership," said Pericles.

"We checked the laws around here," said Dipper, "The town was founded by a crazy person who wrote a Finder's Keeper law. It says possession of a deed gives property ownership."

"So all we have to do is take it back?" asked Fred.

"That's the first step, anyway," said Dipper.

"We have a plan," said Mabel. "But it feels kind of... ewwwwy."

"What is it?" asked Fred.

"We'll ask the gnomes to help us," said Dipper. "An army of them could overpower Gideon and carry him off."

"Ewwwwy. Just... no. Bad plan," said Shaggy.

"Yeah, rad ran!" echoed Scooby.

"If we go to them they'll kidnap you again, Mabel," said Velma. "They'll force you to marry all thousand of them. Or they might kidnap Daphne, or me."

"Not if we promise them a new bride: Gideon. He has a big head of white hair and they'll think he's a girl," said Dipper.

"Are you out of your minds?" said Daphne. "You'd turn over someone else to be the 'bride' of those creatures?"

"Not forever," said Mabel. "Since he's not really a girl they'd let him go eventually."

"Maybe," said Velma. "But what if they found out while they were still with us?"

"By then we'd have the deed, and we could think of something," said Dipper. "We could use your van's big fan on them, or a leaf-blower."

"We'd be, like, doomed," said Shaggy. "They wouldn't fall for that twice."

"Let's not risk it," said Fred. "We have enough muscle in Mystery Inc. to do this ourselves. We once defeated a whole squad of Dr. Zin's goons."

"Dr. who?" asked Pericles.

"No, Dr. Zin, but you wouldn't know him. It's a long story," said Fred.

"Suppose we get the deed. You said there was another step," said Velma.

"Gideon says Gruncle Stan gave him the deed, and everyone believes him," said Mabel. "He's popular with everyone, including the police. They all think that icky creep is adorable, and a psychic."

"They might give the deed back to Gideon if we take it, Finder's Keepers law or not," said Dipper.

"We know how to debunk phony psychics," said Velma. "Once we do, it will put a dent in his public image."

"I'm not sure we can prove he's a phony," said Dipper. "He used to have a magic amulet. He summoned a demon that can get information from people's dreams. If he has more magic, we're sunk."

"Sometimes these things have logical explanations," said Velma.

"And sometimes they don't," said Shaggy.

"Rometimes really ron't," said Scooby with a shiver.

"We'll look into Gideon," said Fred. "But we have reasons to investigate the dream demon beyond that."

"D-do we have to?" asked Shaggy.

"Yes," said Fred, Daphne, and Velma in unison.

"Is there anything more you can tell us about Bill Cipher?" Velma asked.

Besides what we told you last night, I thought of something else," said Dipper. "Right before he vanished he told us a darkness was coming that would change everything we knew."

"That may have already happened," said Mabel. "Maybe he knew we were going to lose the Mystery Shack and have to leave Grunkle Stan... and Waddles."

"I think it's something worse than that," said Dipper. "Gruncle Stan has been stocking up on canned meat and talking about Armageddon."

"Were there any other clues or hints Cipher dropped?" asked Velma.

"He flashed up a ring of symbols around him," said Dipper. "A light circled though them, and he said he'd be watching us. One of the symbols was like the pine tree on my hat. Whenever the light passed over that symbol I felt a twinge."

"Huh," said Mabel. "That's what happened to me when the light passed over the symbol of a shooting star like the one on a my favorite sweater of mine."

"He called me Pine Tree, Mabel was Shooting Star, and Soos was Question Mark," said Dipper. "All things on our clothes."

"I was wearing my sunset sweater that night," said Mabel, "And one of my other sweater patterns was on the ring. A llama, facing left instead of right. But only the shooting star felt connected to me. Is that weird, or what?"

"This entity seems to deal in symbols," said Pericles. "We should try to reconstruct this ring, and see if we can identify anyone else connected to it. Knowledge is power."

Mabel and Dipper drew up a rough sketch from memory, bickering and correcting each other until they had a complete ring. From the top, there were a question mark, a bag of ice, a lodge symbol that looked like a fish eating a ball, a pine tree, an eye in a five-pointed star, a six-fingered hand, a left-facing llama, a shooting star with a rainbow tail, a heart with stitches, and pair of glasses.

"The eye in the star is Li'l Gideon," said Mabel. "I saw it on the top of his Tent of Telepathy."

"I've seen that heart before," said Dipper. "It's on the shirt of that jerk Robbie. And the six-fingered hand is on the cover of the book I found."

Velma pointed to the lodge symbol. "That one looks a little like the symbol on your great-uncle's fez."

"You're right," said Mabel. "It looks exactly like it."

"Not exactly," said Daphne. "I have an eye for fashion. It was more like this, a moon curve with nothing inside it. Did he get a new one recently?"

She sketched the fez symbol she remembered.

Dipper said, "No, it's never looked like that. It 's always looked just like the one we drew. We should know, we've been here all summer."

"Do you have photos or videos from around the time we were here?" asked Fred.

"Yes, something feels funny about this and I'd like to check the evidence," said Velma.

"Hee hee, I have some good clips of Gruncle Stan doing a sorry dance when he lost a bet with me," said Mabel. "Lucky I brought my video camera along."

Mabel opened the camera and played the video clip from its memory, in fast forward mode.

"See, I was right," said Daphne. "Look at that symbol – wait, what just happened there?"

Mabel rewound the clip a few seconds. In the video, between takes 29 and 30, Stan's fez fell off and a goat went for it. Stan struggled with the goat and yanked it back, and when it was on his head again it showed the new symbol. They played it back a couple of times to be sure.

Mabel made a spooky hum like a theremin in an old science fiction movie. "Oooo-eeee-oooo... awesome weirdness!"

"It need not be supernatural," said Professor Pericles. "Electronic devices are easily tampered with."

"Too confusing for me right now," Fred said, "There may be more clues at the Mystery Shack, once we get it back."

"So, like, how are we going to get past the guards?" asked Shaggy.

Velma said, "First you and Scooby get them to chase you and you lead them into a trap."

"I knew it!" said Shaggy. "Why us all the time?"

"Because you're our best runners," said Daphne.

"And the best bait," said Fred.

"And you have colossal luck, that kicks in when the traps don't work as planned," said Velma.

"Rhich is rall the rime," said Scooby.

"And if that fails, we have my trusty grappling hook," said Mabel. "It's never failed me yet."

"That's because you've never used it for anything," said Dipper. "We also have my journal. That's what I'm counting on."

* * *

Scooby was right. The original plan to drop a net on the two guards didn't work, because the net dropped on Shaggy and Scooby instead. But they ran around and around a tree in confusion until the thugs were tied up in the net.

They confronted Gideon in the yard of the Mystery Shack.

"Oh dear, what are you going to do to li'l old me?" asked Gideon.

"Hand over the deed, or else!" said Dipper.

Gideon said, "Fine. I'll get it for you. It's in my private office inside my new Gideonland statue."

They let him get into an elevator in one of the feet and waited for him to come back.

Dipper said, "I'm not so sure we should have done that. I thought I saw Old Man McGucket working up there."

Shaggy said, "You mean the Old Man McGucket who builds..."

"Riant robots?" Scooby finished for him.

The eyes of the giant statue began to glow, its arms moved, and it slammed its "Gideonland" sign into the ground next to them. They all jumped back, and Dipper's Book 3 fell out of his jacket, face open.

Gideon's voice boomed from the robot. "Oho! I should have known, Dipper. You had it the whole time! And to think I actually considered you a threat!"

Gideon's giant robot fist closed on the book.

"You're nothing without this journal, boy. Now get out, before I squash you," said Gideon. "Goodbye forever, y'all!"

The gang backed off, got into the Mystery Machine, and drove away.

"You might as well drop us off at the bus stop," said Dipper. "We're through."

"No! I'm sure we can come up with something," said Mabel.

"Mabel's right," said Fred. "We'll find a way. Even if we have to stay and investigate after you've gone, we'll solve this and you can come back."

"No good," said Dipper. "Once we're home our parents won't trust Gruncle Stan again. No more summer of adventures in Gravity Falls."

"Dipper, can't you come up with another plan?" asked Mabel. "I don't want to leave Waddles with that jerk forever."

"Gideon was right. The only courageous or cool things I've ever done have been because of that journal. Without it, I can't help you, or Stan, or Mystery Incorporated," said Dipper.

"Rait! Rhat's that roise?" asked Scooby.

They looked back and saw Gideon's robot in hot pursuit of the Mystery Machine. "You dropped the wrong book to trick me! Where's journal number one?"


	6. Gideon's Fall

The Mystery Machine raced up the winding mountain road, with the Gideon-bot in hot pursuit.

"Don't worry," said Fred. "I'm an expert in evasive driving. This is just like when we were chased by Baba Yaga's house."

"You were chased by a house?" asked Dipper.

"Yeah, like, a house on giant chicken legs," said Shaggy. "Scoob and I were able to trip it."

"Reah, re ripped it," said Scooby.

"Let's do it," Mabel said. "I've brought along my trusty grappling hook."

"Probably we can," said Fred. "We just need time and space to maneuver."

They rounded a bend and there was a sign: "Road Closed."

"Zoinks! Like, out of time and space to maneuver," said Shaggy.

"Ruh-roh," said Scooby.

The Mystery Machine crashed through the sign and Fred slammed on the brakes, skidding the van to a halt on the brink of a huge canyon overlooking the town, with an old railroad bridge just below.

"I've got you now," said Gideon through his bot amplifiers.

"Not quite yet," said Fred. "We can jump this canyon."

"What?" cried the others in unison.

He pushed a button on the dashboard and enormous springs shot out of the bottom of the Mystery Machine, propelling it into the air towards the other side. The leap went up, up, up... and fell just short of the other side.

"Yaaah!" cried the others in unison.

The van landed on the rickety old railroad tracks, facing a sign that said "Dead End." The springs now stuck through the gaps in the tracks, pinning the car in place.

"Piece of cake," said Fred.

The Gideon-bot leaped down onto the tracks, making them sway dangerously.

"Now you've got nowhere to run," said Gideon. "Surrender Book One or else I'll push y'all off into the abyss."

Dipper and Mabel came out though the skylight onto the roof of the Mystery Machine.

"We don't have it," said Dipper. "You took the only book I ever found. I don't even know what you want them for."

"Gideon, take me and spare my brother and my friends," said Mabel.

"I like that offer," said Gideon, grabbing Mabel in one giant robot hand. "I'll find the other book myself and then I'll rule Gravity Falls, with you as my queen."

Professor Pericles flew up beside Dipper and spoke softly in his ear. Dipper ducked back inside the van.

"You seem to be plotting something," said Gideon. "I have an alternative offer: I'll take Mabel and the rest of you can drop dead, literally!"

As Gideon bent down to push the car off the tracks, Dipper shot out of the top of the Mystery Machine like a cannon, using the passenger ejection seat that Pericles had modified and aimed.

Dipper crashed through one of the robot's eyes and into the cockpit, where he began fighting Gideon hand to hand. Every move Gideon made was transferred to the bot though the motion sensors on his outfit.

"Watch out in there!" Mabel said.

Dipper grabbed Gideon's fist and punched him with it, making the bot punch itself. Gideon fell, and as he did the bot fell off the tracks. Mystery Incorporated watched in horror as the figures of Mabel and Dipper separated from the bot and fell through the air together.

In desperation, Fred pressed the button to force the springs to retract and shoot out again, popping them free of the track. As they began to fall, he deployed an emergency parachute.

"We'll land all right, but Dipper and Mabel..." said Fred.

"Like, they're goners," said Shaggy.

Scooby whined.

Clang. Something struck the bottom of the van. The gang looked out and saw Dipper and Mabel dangling below, holding on to the grappling hook gun. They had attached the hook to the Mystery Machine.

Far below, there was a huge blue explosion from the fallen bot.

* * *

Once on the ground, things happened very fast. Dipper got his journal back. Gideon accused Gravity and Mystery Incorporated of attacking him and blowing up his statue with dynamite. They would have been arrested if not for Gruncle Stan driving up and exposing Gideon as a fraud who used hidden cameras to spy on the town. Gideon was arrested instead, and Stan was celebrated as a local hero.

"The Mystery Shack is back in business, baby. And I did it all without any help from any meddling tourist kids," said Grunkle Stan.

"Like, except for helping defeat a giant robot and saving the lives of your grand niece and nephew," said Shaggy under his breath.

The twins huddled for a minute with Mystery Incorporated before they left for home.

"Whoopie! We get the Mystery Shack back, and Waddles, and we get to keep Leb– I mean, we get to keep living with Gruncle Stan," said Mabel.

Velma looked at Mabel with an eyebrow raised.

"Don't forget, our work here is not completely done," said Daphne. "We have to stay until we uncover the deeper mysteries of Gravity Falls."

"Tonight we celebrate," said Mabel. "We'll paint Soos like a pinata and have Silly String fights with Wendy."

"And tomorrow we'll have a ton of work getting the Shack opened again," said Dipper.

"We'll, like, come and buy lots of snacks," said Shaggy.

"Rots of racks!" said Scooby.

"We'll get busy on the mysteries the day after that," said Fred.

* * *

The night after the grand re-opening, Dipper and Mabel told Gruncle Stan about Book Three. He laughed about it and borrowed it, saying it would give him ideas for the Mystery Shack.

Later that night, he took the book down to his secret basement rooms. He put together their Book Three, Gideon's Book Two, and his own Book One open to the portal diagram pages.

"After all these years," Stan said. "Finally, we have them all."

With the codes entered, the machine began to hum and light up.

"It's working!" Stan said.

He ran into the other room and threw an enormous lever. The portal glowed.

"Here we go!" he said.

Then he yawned, his head nodded, and he fell asleep on his feet.

An evil laugh was heard in the room, though nobody was visible except for a triangular shadow.

"Bill is watching," said the voice. "Heavy is the head that wears the fez."

* * *

"Did you hear that noise?" Dipper asked Mabel.

Something in the atmosphere of the place had made them restless tonight. They had dressed and gone outside to look around.

"I heard a sort of rustle in the bushes. Do you think Gruncle Stan is sleepwalking again?" asked Mabel.

"No, I hear more of a deep humming sound. It seems like it's coming from underground," said Dipper. "Listen."

They both put their ears to the ground, listening hard. Because of this they were unprepared when hooded figures emerged from the bushes, threw sacks over their heads, and carried them away.

* * *

Gideon Gleeful sat in his prison cell, far from gleeful. Everything possible had gone wrong, and it was all the fault of the Pine twins and his old enemy, Stan. Plus those meddling kids and that mangy mutt.

Flames lit up the cell, rippling around a black triangle with single white eye, as the rest of everything became gray. The triangle shifted to yellow, becoming a floating yellow being with a black top hat.

"Hi Gideon, Bill's back," said Bill Cipher.

"What are you doing here?" asked Gideon.

"Fulfilling our deal, kid," said Cipher. "Stanford Pines just fell asleep, with nobody on guard. If I hadn't gotten so angry the other night I would have remembered that all I had to do was go to his memory of falling out of the Bottomless Pit. The safe combination came right out with him. Here it is: 13-44-6-18."

"What? That's no use to me. The safe doesn't exist anymore. I blew it up, and got the deed myself. Not that it did me any good," said Gideon.

"Our deal wasn't for me to do you any good, just to steal the combination," said Cipher. "Now that I've done it, you owe me."

"That's not fair," said Gideon. "And how can I do you a favor, anyway? I'm in prison," said Gideon.

"Oh, jail is the least of your worries, kid," said Cipher. "My favor is: let me into your mind."

"No, I don't wanna," said Gideon.

"I always hold people to the letter of their deals," said Cipher. "I'm like my brother Lou that way."

"Lou Cipher," said Gideon. "Lucifer? Oh no!"

The yellow demon rushed forward and merged into Gideon. His eyes filled with the triangular image of Bill.

"Now that I have your physical body, we have places to go and things to do," said Gideon/Cipher.

He raised a hand crackling with electricity and blasted a hole in the cell wall. He floated through it with an evil laugh.

* * *

The sacks were removed from Dipper and Mabel's heads. They found themselves surrounded by hooded figures wearing blank fezzes on top of their hoods, in a large room with a zig-zag patterned floor. Dipper recognized it.

"We're in The Club, where I met Gideon to tell him you were breaking up with him," he whispered to Mabel.

"Silence," said a deep-voiced hooded figure at the front of the room, with a large barn owl perched on his shoulder. "The meeting of the Royal Order of the Holy Mackerel, Blindeye Branch, will come to order. First order of business: the disposal of those who have aided our enemy."

* * *

Gideon came down to earth in the woods near the Mystery Shack. Bill Cipher came out, leaving his host with a wrenching sensation.

"Hey, that smarted," said Gideon.

"Get used to it, All-Seeing Pentagram," said Bill.

"What do you want with me? What are we doing here?" Gideon demanded.

"The portal is about to be opened, and I need my own team of four mystery-solvers and a talking animal to be present in order to release my Master," said Bill.

"What Master? What talking animal?" asked Gideon.

"I could use my familiar, Gompers the goat, but I have another idea," said Bill, ignoring the first question.

"What about the four mystery-solvers?"

"The leader, the brainy one, the rebel, and the chick," said Bill. "All have been chosen to fit the profiles I require, to uncover the mysteries of the Mystery Shack. Just for fun, I will call you Mystery Shack Incorporated."

"So, I'm the leader?" asked Gideon.

"Guess again," said Bill.

"The brainy one?"

"Down-to-earth, practical, full of book-knowledge, and associated with the element of earth. It's Fez Symbol, of course."

"Stanford Pines? I don't want to work with him," said Gideon. "I hate him."

"Too bad, so sad," said Bill.

"Then I'm the rebel?" asked Gideon.

"The profile: runs and hides from danger, has an irreverent attitude, has stubs of whiskers on his chin, eats anything (like lollipops stick first), and is associated with the element of water. The kid you killed a year ago and made into a zombie: Stitched Heart."

Robbie stepped out of the woods and nodded at Bill, "Yo."

"You... I created you to attack Stanford Pines but you never followed my orders," said Gideon, shrinking back in fear.

"Zombies don't follow orders, dweeb," said Robbie.

"Unless those orders are backed up by extreme power," said Bill. "And unless they've been corrupted by dabbling in the dark arts, like using the mind-controlling music disk I gave you."

"Didn't do me much good. Wendy came back to me for a little while, then dumped me when Dipper squealed on me about the backwards message," said Robbie.

"Like I told All-Seeing Pentagram, I never promise my deals will do you good," said Bill.

"So, who else is in this Mystery Shack Incorporated group of yours?" asked Robbie.

"There's the Chick," said Bill.

"Wendy?" asked Robbie.

"Ice? You wish," said Bill. "Here's the profile: cute, rich, a fancy dresser, hot-tempered, supposedly romantically linked with the leader, and associated with the element of fire."

"I know," said Gideon. "It's Pacifica Northwest."

"No, you," said Bill.

"I'm no chick! Wait... romantically linked with the leader..." said Gideon.

"Supposedly," said Bill. "The leader is brave, silly, clever at trapping monsters, has an absurd fashion sense, and is associated with the element of air. Here she is now: the Llama."

A brown-haired girl with braces stepped out of the woods. She was wearing a light brown sweater with a llama on it. The llama faced left, like the one on Cipher's wheel.

"Mabel!" said Gideon.

"Think again," said the girl with a smirk. "Remember me? Mabel's mirror doppelganger you brought to life as a backup girlfriend, until I escaped your slimy clutches?"

"Lebam," said Gideon.

* * *

Author's note: credit for the idea of Lebam goes to The Sqoou, who published theories about her on You Tube.


	7. Ceremonies

"Lebam," said Gideon.

"Call me 'Mistress'," Lebam said. "And get on your knees."

Gideon found himself compelled to obey. "Yes, Mistress."

Bill said, "Our deal is fulfilled, Llama."

"Why are you doing this to me?" Gideon moaned.

"You backed out on a deal," said Bill. "I don't forgive that."

"And I want revenge," said Lebam. "I own you for the rest of your life, like you tried to own me."

"The little dork might like that," said Robbie.

"I'm not going to do that sort of thing," said Lebam. "I'm not that sort of mistress. This is about humiliation."

Gideon could feel no trace of the power over others he was used to having for so long, power that had remained ever after his amulet was lost. That power had protected him in prison and allowed him to build up a following of tough protectors and enforcers.

"Nooo," said Gideon.

"Now, take off that hair net and mess up your hair," commanded Lebam.

"Not my hair!" said Gideon, but he was forced to obey. His perfect pompadour was frizzed out like a mop.

"Now lick my shoes," said Lebam.

Gideon was forced to obey, but before he could finish Bill interrupted.

"Okay, fun time's over. Time to go downstairs for the portal ceremony," said Bill.

"What?" said Lebam. "You didn't say anything about that."

"I didn't? My bad," said Bill.

"What happened to Gideon being my slave for the rest of his life?" asked Lebam.

"Well, you see, it's not going to be his life any more," said Bill. "And that's true for all of the rest of you."

"What! No!" the others shouted. They tried to run, but Bill's force fields grabbed and lifted them.

"There are two mystery-solving groups, each with five members. That's why there are ten symbols on my ring," said Bill. "The first complete group can release the Entity and gain ultimate power. The second group will be dinner. Or maybe both will be dinner; I'm not precisely sure."

* * *

The three humans were lifted by Bill's power and taken within the Mystery Shack gift shop.

"You can do the honors, Lebam," said Bill. "There are still control powers over you, just not keyed to Gideon anymore."

Lebam was compelled to walk to the vending machine near the "Employee's Only" entrance and to type in a series of buttons. A panel swung open.

"What is this?" she asked, discovering she was still in control of her voice.

"This is the entrance to the secret levels, which were built by me and other beings from another dimension centuries ago," said Bill.

Lebam and Gideon walked, while Robbie was lifted, down a small flight of stairs.

At the bottom was an elevator, and here was a symbolic pad.

"What kind of symbols are these?" Lebam asked, trying to keep panic out of her voice.

"Annunaki scientific symbols," said Bill. "You may know them from alchemy, the human attempt to imitate our science, with a little knowledge mixed with a lot of superstition."

"Annunaki? Ah never heard of such a thing. Who are you, really?" asked Gideon.

"I am a piece of the Planispheric Disk, product of the best human alchemist of all time, Bartimeo Magnus, then brought to life by the strongest of the Annunaki, the Evil Entity. Almost all trace of his influence was eliminated from this universe other than myself and my fellows, but our goal is to set him free," said Bill.

"What are you going to do with us?" Lebam asked in a tight voice.

"You won't be physically harmed," said Bill. "At least not yet."

"Ah don't like this," said Gideon.

"None of us do, dweeb," said Robbie.

They went down in the elevator to the third below-ground floor. There were banks of what looked like old computers, and a desk where the books were arranged in a triangle.

"The three Journals!" said Gideon. "The key to ultimate power."

"Yes indeedy," said Bill. "Power for the Evil Entity, but you lucky people get to participate."

Stanford Pines was sleeping on his feet in front of a glowing portal that looked like an inverted triangle with a circle within it.

"Okay Sam, you can wake up now," said Bill.

"Huh? What?" said Samuel Pines (aka Stan Pines) groggily, as he roused.

"Places, everyone," said Bill.

A glowing ring appeared on the floor, with symbols in every space around Bill. Stan was already on the Fez Symbol. Robbie, Lebam, and Gideon were placed in the Stitched Heart, Llama, and All-Seeing Pentagram positions respectively. All were held motionless except for the ability to speak.

"Hey, I was promised I'd get rich when the banks crashed," said Stan.

"The ruler of the universe will be rich, owning everything and everyone," said Bill. "You're going to be part of something big and world-changing. Everything you care about will change. That probably means die, but oh well."

"I'm already dead. As long as I get to be with Wendy in death, I'm happy," said Robbie. "I see she's going to be on the ring, too."

"What a cheater and a liar," said Lebam. "You let me have maybe a minute with Gideon as my slave."

"Liar, monster, fancy dresser," said Bill. "That's me."

"So when are you gonna do this world-changing stuff?" asked Stan.

"We're still missing the animal member of this group, and all the members of the other local mystery group," said Bill. "They will be here soon."

He changed two ring symbols: the six-fingered hand became a tag with the letters "SD" on it. The glasses became a birdcage.

"This is so, so not good," said Lebam. "We're doomed, but I hope Dipper and Mabel get away."

* * *

Meanwhile, Dipper and Mabel were prisoners of the secret society faction called the Blindeye Branch of the Royal Order of the Holy Mackerel.

"Dipper and Mabel," said the group leader. "You have allied yourselves with Stan Pines, the follower of the demon Bill Cipher. What do you have to say in your own defense before we pass sentence on you?"

"Grunkle Stan is a good man," said Mabel. "Well, he has a good heart deep down, anyway."

"He doesn't follow demons," said Dipper. "That's crazy talk. Cipher went into his mind to steal his safe combination."

"You lie," said one of the hooded secret society members. "That's what we can expect from robot kids. They were brought here by the demon. Why shouldn't we just destroy them?"

"Destroy them! Destroy them!" chanted the others.

"We're not robots!" said Mabel. "We're flesh and blood like you. We can prove that: I'll scratch Dipper and prove he bleeds."

"Mabel, why scratch me and not yourself?" Dipper asked.

"Androids have flesh and blood," said the leader.

"Killing us would be murder. Our parents will come looking for us," said Mabel.

"Bring forth Smipper and Smabble," said the leader, pointing his gloved right hand.

Two kids who looked like younger versions of Dipper and Mabel were brought out from a side room.

"This is kind of scary, Pop-Pop," said Smabble to the man holding her hand. "Can we go home now?"

"Behold your replacement clones," said the leader. "Your parents deserve real kids instead of android fakes. Once we age these young'uns up a mite they'll take your place."

"Stop!" called Fred. Mystery Incorporated, Crystal Cove division, came out from behind the curtains where they were hiding.

"We followed you when you kidnapped Dipper and Mabel," said Daphne. "Then we figured out where you were going and got ahead of you."

"Like, this spooky Club is decorated just like the Sitting Room we visited in our dreams," said Shaggy.

"Rightmares," said Scooby-Doo.

"Which means somebody is under the influence of a dream-controlling monster, not fighting him as much as you thought," said Velma. "You need to check out your leadership."

"What do ya mean?" asked the leader.

Dipper said to the leader. "You used old-fashioned words: 'young'sn' and 'mite'. Your voice is different, but I know you have a potion to change that."

Mabel ran forward and pulled the leader's hood down. "You're Old Man McGucket!"

"Oh, banjo polish," said McGucket in his deep voice.

The crowd of followers muttered. One said, "We've been following a crazy old koot. Let's go."

"Wait, you've got to believe me!" said McGucket. "They really are androids! The danger of Bill is real! He lied to me. Darkness is coming!"

"Come on, Smipper and Smabble," said the man who brought them in. "Pop-Pop will take care of you from now on."

"But what about Duane the Enforcer, the sacred barn owl?" said one of the followers. "He's real, ain't he? We've been worshiping him."

Professor Pericles flew over and pulled the white feathery barn-owl disguise off of the owl on McGucket's shoulder, revealing a brown owl underneath.

"It's the Maraca Owl," said Mabel. "I'd know those feathers anywhere."

"And it is a robot," said Pericles, giving it a tap on the side and getting a metallic thunk. It fell to the floor. "I have turned it off now."

"Oh fiddlesticks," said McGucket.

The others filed out of the Club, dropping their hoods and revealing original members Ernie Wyler, "Uncle" Phil Andry, Barney "Big Mouth" Jackson, and Wally Beavis. There were also new members: Tyler the cute biker, "Manly Dan" Corduroy, Deputy Durland, and Lazy Susan.

"Hey, I didn't know we let women in the Lodge," said Durland.

"You let in anyone in a hood," said Susan. "Anyway, I'm quittin'. Tryin' to spy on Stan Pines ain't worth it: he won't return my calls."

When they all had left, Dipper said to Mabel and Mystery Incorporated, "Let's go."

"Not so fast," said McGucket. He grabbed Dipper and Mabel each around the neck with one arm. His right glove fell off and Dipper could see the stub of a sixth finger on his right hand.

"You used to have six fingers," said Dipper. "You wrote the Journals."

"That's right," said McGucket. "So you know that I know what I'm talkin' about. You're androids and you've been helpin' Bill Cipher. What do you know about the Journals?"

"Almost nothing. I found one of them, Journal 3," said Dipper.

"What did you do with it?" asked McGucket.

"We let Grunkle Stan borrow it," said Mabel. "He's going to use it to get ideas for the Mystery Shack."

"You WHAT?" said McGucket. "Mebbe you did it without knowin' it, but you're still guilty of aidin' and abettin' an alien world conqueror. I may not have followers anymore, but this body's strong: I'll kill you with my own hands."

His grip tightened around their necks, starting to cut off their air.

The Scooby gang looked on in shock, not sure how to help the hostages. Fred had a trap ready, but it would catch Dipper and Mabel along with McGucket.

Soos ran into the room, pointing a high-tech wrist cannon at McGucket.

"Like, drop those kids or I'll shoot," said Soos.

"No siree," said McGucket. "I can kill them afore you kill me."

He choked harder and Dipper began to see stars.

Soos blasted McGucket between the eyes, and he dropped the twins; he fell to the floor dead. Mabel and Dipper gasped for breath.

"I wish I hadn't had to do that," said Soos. "But he was going to kill you, dudes. The rest of the secret society might change their minds and come back for you. Come with me if you want to, like, not die."


	8. Oh My, Demigod

Velma said, "McGucket just said something really strange: 'This body is strong.' Nobody talks that way about themselves. They would say. 'I'm strong.'"

"Unless they were swapped in from a different body," said Dipper.

"Are any of you aware of technology in Gravity Falls that could do that?" asked Velma, raising her eyebrows sceptically.

"It's called an Electron Carpet," said Dipper.

"Yep," said Soos. "I was in the body of a pig for about half a day."

"Dipper and I were swapped once, too," Mabel said.

"I would have called that scientifically impossible, but I've learned stranger things can happen," said Velma.

"Rike the whole world turning rifferent," said Scooby-Doo.

"So we weren't really talking with the author?" asked Dipper.

"We were talking to the author in McGucket's body, but maybe the author was someone else, just using that body," said Velma.

"Or, like, McGucket was crazy and that's what he thought," said Shaggy.

"Reah, razy," said Scooby.

Dipper said, "Whoever he was, or thought he was, he was about to kill us. Thank you for saving us, Soos."

"No problemo, dude," said Soos.

"How did you know where to find us?" asked Mabel.

"When there was a big flash of light from the Mystery Shack I knew the time was right," said Soos. "So I rushed over just in time to see them taking you away, and I followed."

"The time was right? What do you mean by that?" asked Pericles.

"Like, have you heard of the Percy Jackson stories?" asked Soos.

"I've read some of them," said Dipper. "About people who are children of the Greek gods."

Soos said, "I'm like that. At least, that's what a message my dad sent me said. My nickname's because of him: Zeus, instead of Jesús, you know."

"You're a demigod?" said Mabel. "Cool!"

"Not so cool," said Soos. "A Greek god is just like any other deadbeat dad, never there for you. Every year he promised to be there on my birthday, and he never was. That's why I hate my birthday."

"I didn't know you hated your birthday, Soos," said Mabel. "That's terrible. I wish we could do something."

"Thanks, dudes, but there's nothing you can do," said Soos.

"What about your mom?" asked Dipper.

"I think she, like, died a long time before I was born or something," said Soos. "My Abuelita is the only parent I've really had. Anyhow, I got a package from him about a month before you got here. He sent me a history book and a ship painting to put in your room in the attic. There was a note that said it would help when the time was right."

"How is it supposed to help?" asked Dipper.

"You can use it to go back in time or something, to get a weapon you're gonna need," said Soos. "The Sword of Domiclese."

"How do we get back?" Mabel asked.

"There's a trigger device on the back of the picture," said Soos. "Take it with you and click it when you have what you need. You and everything you're holding will return to the room just a minute after you left."

"This reminds me of something," said Daphne. "Remember how we had to get the Heart of the Jaguar before we could face the Evil Entity?"

"What was the Heart of the Jaguar?" asked Dipper.

"A spear that was supposed to destroy the Entity we were fighthing," said Fred. "Except the most important thing turned out to be the strength of our friendship as a gang."

"This could be the big showdown, like last time. We need to gather everyone who's in your mystery-solving gang," said Velma.

"We have everyone here now, except Wendy and Waddles," said Mabel.

"Let's split up, gang," said Fred. "Shaggy and Scooby, you go with Dipper and Mabel in Soos' truck to check out the painting. The rest of us will take the Mystery Machine and find Wendy and Waddles. We'll meet outside the Mystery Shack."

"Zoinks! Why us?" asked Shaggy.

"Who else do we get to do the spooky stuff?" said Daphne.

"It's because of your extraordinary luck," said Velma. "You always come through."

"But re always get scared," said Scooby.

"Things are beginning to come back to me," said Pericles. "You may also require four keys, connected to the ancient elements of earth, air, fire, and water."

"Four elemental keys?" said Dipper. "This is getting harder and harder."

"You may already have these keys in your possession, kinder," said Pericles. "The last time, Mystery Incorporated obtained them with very little effort."

"We'll think about the keys later," said Dipper. "First we need to find the Sword of Domiclese."

"You know, that name sounds familiar," said Mabel. "I think I read it in a history book when I was working on my Guide to Stickers."

"That book was ridiculous," said Dipper. "It had a story about a dog who played basketball for the ancient Mayans."

"It also had a story about Domiclese," said Mabel. "He was a Greek shepherd who was secretly a robot with a laser face."

"Dudes, that's the other thing my Dad sent to put in your room," said Soos. "You should definitely read that for clues."

The two groups split up into the two vehicles, with Shaggy and Scooby joining Dipper and Mabel in the truck with Soos, while the others jumped into the Mystery Machine.

* * *

Back at the Mystery Shack, Soos said, "There's a weird feeling about this place. Something bad is going down."

"We'd better sneak up to our room very quietly," said Dipper.

"I know how to get there!" said Mabel. "Grappling hook!"

Before anyone could stop her, she fired the hook through the triangular window that looked out from their attic bedroom.

"Zoinks!" said Shaggy. "So much for quiet."

"Reah," said Scooby.

"Hang on, and the hook will pull us all up," said Mabel.

Dipper sighed. "I guess we might as well get in as quickly as we can, get into the painting portal, and get out with the weapon. It won't take any time in there."

"Dudes, I'd weigh the hook down," said Soos. "I'll stand guard down here while you go in."

Dipper, Mabel, Shaggy, and Scooby clung together as Mabel activated the grappling hook reel-in switch and all of them were pulled roughly into the attic bedroom.

"I'm going to change clothes for this mission," said Mabel.

She pulled on a black sweater with a white owl on it. "Good for a night mission. I'll take my favorite white flower hair pin too, named Molly."

"Like, you have names for all your hairpins?" asked Shaggy.

"I have names for everything," said Mabel with a smile.

Dipper took the history book and put it in his vest pocket, in the place he used to keep Journal 3. He found the remote control on the back of the picture. He, Mabel, Shaggy, and Scooby-Doo stood together on Dipper's bed, right in front of the picture. Dipper used the control and turned it on.

The picture began to move. The waves swelled and the ship's sails blew in the wind.

"We're going to Narnia!" said Mabel. "I hope we meet that cute Prince Caspian."

Dipper made sure the remote was securely in his pocket. "Ready?"

"Like, ready as we'll ever be," said Shaggy.

"Ready," said Scooby.

They all jumped, and with a splash they were in the sea.


	9. History Lesson

They all jumped into the ship painting, and with a splash they were in the sea. The water was cold, but Mediterranean cold and not Atlantic cold. They landed in the water near the ship, but at first they thought it was going to pass them by.

"Ahoy! Help!" they called up. Finally a rope was thrown to them and sailors hauled them up.

"Who are you?" asked a burly man with gray-tinged black hair.

"Mabel and Dipper Pines, sister and brother," said Mabel. "Who are you?"

"I am Odysseus, captain of the fleet," said the man.

"Fleet? I only see one ship," Dipper said.

"The others were lost to the Laestrygonians, a tribe of giant cannibals who threw rocks at our ships," said Odysseus.

"Oh dear," said Mabel.

"Like, you understand these dudes?" Shaggy asked Dipper.

"I understand it perfectly, but I don't know why," said Dipper.

"It's all Greek to me," said Shaggy.

"Me too," said Scooby-Doo.

"Your companion speaks a strange tongue. What is your story? Are you escaped from a shipwreck?" asked Odysseus.

"Not exactly," said Dipper.

"We are far from home and we cannot put you ashore," said Odysseus. "I'm afraid we will have to treat you as spoils of the sea and make you our slaves. The men will appreciate the young woman; we have been a long time without female companionship."

"No!" said Mabel, wrapping her arms around herself.

"Leave my sister alone!" said Dipper, charging at Odysseus with arms raised.

Odysseus stopped him with one arm. "You are brave, but you lack strength. I will take your strange cloth helmet as a token of victory."

As he took Dipper's Pine Tree hat, Dipper's hair was brushed aside, revealing his Big Dipper birthmark.

A grizzled old sailor who saw the mark came forward. "I have heard tell of this, Captain. This is the mark of Domiclese, the hero who helped overthrow the old Olympian gods."

Dipper pulled the history book out of his vest and thrust it at Shaggy.

"Shaggy, find anything about Domiclese and read it aloud," Dipper said in English. "Our freedom depends on my being mistaken for this guy."

Shaggy quickly read out the story of Domiclese, a young shepherd who had challenged the Greek gods, who turned out be a robot or android with a "laser face," which he used to destroy Apollo and Mercury, signaling the beginning of the Great Robot War which overthrew the old gods. The victory led to a time of slavery and oppression by the robot victors, until they in turn were overthrown with the help of a Trojan Horse.

"Domiclese is no hero to me. He helped bring about the even worse rule of the Titans," said Odysseus with a scowl.

"But now you've defeated the Titans at Troy, so men are free," said Dipper. "Without my part it wouldn't have happened."

"Good for you, bro-bro," said Mabel.

Odysseus nodded. "King Domiclese, what you say has merit. You and your companions will be treated as our friends and allies. But we are still lost at sea. It will take a long time before I can return to my home country of Ithaca and help you return to your own land."

As the ship sailed on, Dipper and Mabel explained to Shaggy what had happened.

"Zoinks, that was a close call," said Shaggy. "Lucky for us you have the same birthmark as this Domiclese guy."

"If is is luck..." Dipper said softly.

The old sailor who had spoken up for them before came closer, and asked, "King Domiclese, the legends say that as a reward for your help the Titans sent you and your sister Callisto to the far future, to live new and happier lives starting from childhood again. What is it like there?"

"It's, umm, an interesting place. There are chariots that run without horses, and others that carry people through the air," said Dipper.

"Amazing," said the sailor. "And now you are back for good?"

"I'm only back to get the Sword of Domiclese, that is, my sword," said Dipper. "It is needed for a mission in the future time."

"One of your men may have kept that for you, sire," said the sailor. "I hope you will find it when you return to your native land. It was a great trophy of your victory over Apollo and Mercury, was it not? The sword they thought to threaten you with when you challenged them, hanging it over your head by a thread."

"Umm, yeah, that sword," said Dipper.

"Tell me, what do you know about his sister, Callisto?" asked Mabel.

"It was a tragic tale," said the sailor. "She was seduced by the god Zeus in the form of the goddess Diana, whom she worshiped and loved. She gave birth to a son, a boy named Arkas. But plotting among the gods led to both her and her son being made into the constellations of the Great Bear and the Little Bear. That is why Domiclese bears the mark of the seven brightest stars in the Great Bear, in his sister's memory."

"She's a constellation?" asked Mabel. "But, I was thinking that maybe I could be her."

"You most likely are, if you are the sister to Domiclese in the future world," said the sailor. "The legend is that the spirit of Callisto was placed in a new body. Both she and her brother were made young again and sent forward in time."

"But what about her son?" asked Mabel. "Was he left behind?"

"Since they were coming back as children, he could not be with them right away. But it was promised that she would meet her son again one day in the future."

"Land ho!" came a cry from aloft.

The sailor bowed. "Now I must return to my work and help with the landing."

"Dipper... is it possible they could really be us?" asked Mabel.

"I don't know," said Dipper. "It sort of fits... I mean, my birthmark is a pretty strange coincidence."

"Like, please explain," said Shaggy.

"Res, please," said Scooby.

The twins told the Mystery Inc. members what they had learned about the legend.

"You realize what this means?" said Shaggy. "Like, put that together with what Soos said about being a demigod, with a deadbeat Zeus dad and a missing mom, and you'll see that..."

"Soos is my son!" said Mabel.


	10. Isle of Circe

Mabel was still trying to process the shock.

"I had a Greek god for a boyfriend," she said. "I'm a single mom at twelve going on thirteen. And I don't even remember the fun part."

"At least your ex is trying to help us," said Dipper. "He gave us a way back in time to get my sword to save the world."

"I have to raise Soos now..." said Mabel.

"No, you don't," said Dipper. "His Abuelita is taking care of that."

"But she must have been tricked. My son, Arkas, was made to look like a relative of hers. He once told me he looks a whole lot like his cousin Reggie. But it was a fake-out. He should really look like a Greek... and so should we! Our parents have been tricked, too!"

"What do you mean?" asked Shaggy.

"Reah, what do you mean?" echoed Scooby-Doo.

"She's right," said Dipper. "Our real parents must have lived and died in ancient Greek times. We're not really Pines at all."

"And Grunkle Stan isn't really our Grunkle," said Mabel with a little sob.

"Cheer up guys," said Shaggy. "At least you're still related to each other."

"Prepare to land!" came a cry from aloft.

A beautiful island was in sight. The sailors lost no time in steering to it, and landing the ship in a cove.

* * *

Odysseus ordered his men to go ashore and scout for supplies. Mabel and Dipper remained on the boat with him. Hours passed, and nobody returned.

"What is taking them so long?" asked Odysseus.

Dipper took out his history book and started looking things up.

"Oh-oh," Dipper said. "This could be the island of Circe. She's the daughter of Helios. That's the Titan sun god, who is the son of Hyperion. That makes her a demigod, and she may have the power to turn men into pigs."

"This sounds like divine prophecy, Domiclese," said Odysseus. "What should I do?"

"You should go in and confront her so she will put your men back to normal," said Dipper. "But make sure you get a promise from her not to harm you, with no loopholes, before you let her touch you. Demigods keep their promises, but they're tricky."

"Take my flower, Molly, for luck," said Mabel. She took out her hairpin and gave it to him.

"A divine herb, the flower moly," said Odysseus. "Methinks you are more than the mortals you seem. You are incarnations of the gods of Olympus, good ones who were not tyrants to man: Hermes and Athena, whose symbol is the owl."

"Whatever," said Mabel. "Just be careful."

After Odysseus left, Dipper said, "With him distracting Circe, we need to sneak into her house and look for something."

"What?" asked Mabel.

"It seems to me that the Greek gods didn't really turn people into animals. They just made them swap minds with them" said Dipper. "Circe may have a mind-swap carpet in there somewhere. That could be useful."

"Like, you need us along?" asked Shaggy nervously. "We could just hang back at the ship."

"We need you for luck," said Dipper.

* * *

They sneaked into the house and soon found a room full of pigs. Dipper tried his idea and spoke to them. (Soos had told them how he was able to speak as a pig).

"Did Circe touch you with something to make you change bodies with pigs?" Dipper asked.

"Yes," one pig said. "She has a piece of the Golden Fleece. She said it was a gift from her brother Aeetes."

The pig nodded in the direction of a high shelf, where they found a piece of the golden material.

"Got it," said Shaggy, reaching it down for them. "Now we'll run back to the ship with it."

"No!" said Mabel. "It we take the fleece how will these men get back to normal? We have to find where she keeps the pigs with their bodies."

It didn't take much searching to find the room, because of the odor of excrement. Each man found his body and they used the static from the fleece to swap them back.

There was one pig left, and Mabel didn't want to leave a victim behind.

"Where is your body?" she asked the last pig.

"It's locked up in a room upstairs," said the pig. "Circe likes it near her bedroom. She says men with pig minds are better lovers. She taunts me about it, even makes me watch, sometimes, ya know?"

They sneaked quietly upstairs, and found the room. It seemed Odysseus was keeping Circe occupied in her bedroom, so they were able to get in undisturbed after Mabel picked the lock with a hairpin. The man they found there looked familiar, except for the six fingers on each hand.

"You look a lot like our Grunkle, Stanford Pines," said Mabel.

"It's his body, all righty," said the pig.

"I don't get it," said Dipper. "But you can explain more after we get you back to normal."

They swapped the man back, and sneaked out of the house to get back to the ship.

* * *

"Now tell us who you really are," said Dipper.

"I'm not really Stanford Pines. He was workin' on an inter-dimensional portal with me, Fiddleford McGucket. There was a creature helping him invent it, a demon called Bill Cipher..."

"Bill Cipher!" said Dipper. "We've seen him."

"He's plain awful," said McGucket. "Stanford figgered out that Bill was evil after I got pulled into the portal by accident. He wanted to put a metal plate in his head to protect himself from being possessed. I was the only one he could turn to for help, even though I'd quit and messed up my own head a bunch with a mind-erasing device I invented. Nobody can operate on themselves to put a plate in their own head, ya know."

"Zoinks!" said Shaggy. "I guess not."

"So you operated on him?" Dipper asked.

"He couldn't trust me to do that. He got me to swap bodies with him using his Electron Carpet and then he put the plate in himself," said McGucket. "But then it turned out the carpet couldn't swap us back once the plate was in. We were stuck with each other's bodies."

"But we just swapped you from a pig using Circe's carpet," said Mabel.

"The ones the Greek gods have are a lot more powerful."

"I'm still confused," said Dipper. "You called the inventor Stanford Pines. But we know Stanford Pines. He's alive and well, running a tourist trap in Gravity Falls."

"Our Grunkle Stan," said Mabel.

"And there was an Old Man McGucket, really crazy, with the stub of a sixth finger on one hand," said Shaggy.

"Reah, really razy," said Scooby.

"Well, the Stanford I know got kinda crazy, livin' with my messed up head, and I got a lot better," said McGucket. "He experimented on himself with shape-changer genes, and that's how he developed an extra finger like he had on this original body."

"How did you end up here?" asked Mabel.

"We were real worried about Bill and his schemes. We decided we had to split up. There were three Journals, and in each was a page to help operate the Portal. He took and hid one, I hid another, and I called on his twin brother Stanley to take and hide one more a long ways away. That way, no one person would have them all and be able to open the Portal again, and let out the Evil Entity."

"A twin brother Stanley?" asked Dipper. "We have another great uncle?"

"Yeah, kind of the black sheep of the family that nobody talked about. I sent for him, talked to him posing as his brother. But we got into a fight and the portal turned on. I ended up pulled into it, to this here place. I got stuck as the slave of a witch," said McGucket.

"So who have we been living with this summer?" asked Dipper.

"I don't know anythin' about what happened after I was gone," said McGucket.

Shaggy said, "Like, I guess it's been Stanley Pines, posing as his brother ever since you disappeared."

"He's been lying to us all along," said Dipper with a scowl.

"Maybe there's a good explanation," said Mabel.

"Anyway, we still have to find the Sword of Domiclese before we can get home and deal with that," said Dipper.

"I know who has that," said McGucket. "Circe does."


	11. Circe's Proposition

"Circe has the Sword of Domiclese?" asked Dipper.

"Yep. She showed it off to me," said McGucket. "It was a memento from the Great Robot Wars. She got it from the same brother who gave her a piece of the Golden Fleece."

"I guess we have to go back for it," said Mabel.

"Yeah," said Dipper.

"Like, that's really dangerous," said Shaggy. "We just avoided getting caught by the skin of our teeth."

Scooby licked his teeth. "Rin of our reeth? I don't taste anything."

"It's an expression, Scoob," said Shaggy. "It means it was risky. We were only able to sneak in and out because Circe was distracted by Odysseus."

In the distance there was a shriek of anger, a woman yelling in rage.

"Like, I guess she's not distracted anymore," said Shaggy.

"She probably figgered it out when she saw all her captives were gone," said McGucket.

A woman in flowing robes came running up to the ship, with shoulder-length black hair and a voluptuous figure. Oddyseus was close behind.

"You have robbed me!" the woman shouted. "You stole my slave. You also released all the other men from their pig forms without my permission."

"Circe, you promised to release them anyway," said Odysseus.

Circe just scowled at him.

"This man is a close relative of ours," said Dipper, indicating McGucket in Ford's body. "We're taking him back home."

"You are kin to this man, Domiclese?" asked Odysseus. "I do see a family resemblance."

"He's our great uncle," said Mabel.

"Well, sort of..." said McGucket.

"Domiclese?" said Circe. "You are the famous Domiclese, hero of the war against Olympus? You do not look like the paintings I have seen."

"My sister and I were sent to the future as a reward, to grow up together again," said Dipper. "So we have new forms. This man is of the family that adopted us."

"I see," said Circe. "It is still no excuse to sneak into my house and steal him from me. What if I just take him back?"

McGucket nervously hid behind the twins, Shaggy, and Scooby.

"I think not," said Oddyseus. "Domiclese is my comrade. He seems to have rescued all of my men from pig form, and they will not be pleased with you for the foul trick you played on them. Shall I call them from the ship? No matter what your powers are, you cannot fight us all before we make an end of you."

"No, we have a truce," said Circe quickly. "They may leave with the man they came to rescue."

"Actually," said Dipper. "We came for one other thing that we believe you may have. Have you seen my famous sword, the Sword of Domiclese?"

"I will not give it to you," said Circe. "It is well-hidden so that you could never find it, if you tried to kill me for it."

"Could we give you something for it?" asked Dipper. "Like... this magic light from the future?"

He took out from his pocket a flashlight, which was supposedly waterproof. It didn't turn on when he tried to demonstrate it.

"I will not be bribed with a cheap toy," said Circe. "What I want is... your body. A night with the famous Domiclese will be compensation enough."

"What?" said Mabel.

"No!" said Dipper, turning red. "I-I'm just turning thirteen in a few weeks."

"You have been older than that, Domiclese," said Circe. "You were at least 21 at the end of the war. That artificial new body of yours can be aged up if you focus on it."

"I... I never..." said Dipper. "I have no experience."

"I know that King Domiclese had a royal harem with at least six wives," said Circe. "They say your favorite was a red-haired princess from an island to the north. I can help you recover those memories. You could even learn to use your eyes of burning light again."

"Eyes of light? Like the ones that melted Apollo in the story in our book?" asked Dipper.

"Remember, broseph? You used laser vision against Bill in the dreamscape," said Mabel.

"But that was just a dream. I didn't know I really could..." said Dipper.

"It proves that your memories are very close to the surface," said Circe. "You could recover them, giving you the experience and maturity to win any woman you want in the future."

Dipper stared into space, blushing as he thought of Wendy.

"I think you should do it, Domiclese," said Odysseus. "She's very good, by the way. Just make sure to make her promise not to harm you, as you warned me before."

Dipper got out a pencil and paper and started to make a list. "No swapping me out of my body, no enchanting me to fall in love with her..."

Mabel said, "Dipper, you're seriously doing this? It's not right."

"I have to, to get the sword," said Dipper.

"You know what they call it when you have sex with someone, not out of love but in order to get something?" said Mabel.

"But your brother is a man, so it's all right," said Odysseus.

"That's a double standard," said Mabel. "Dipper, don't listen to him. Besides, you can't just grow up all of a sudden and leave me behind."

"You could probably age up, too," said Dipper.

"I don't want to," said Mabel, with tears in her eyes. "I want to enjoy the childhood I still have left."

Shaggy said, "Dudes, remember you're a team. Let's not fight and ruin everything."

"Reah, don't fight," said Scooby-Doo. "We have a ronster to stop."

"You have a point," said Dipper. "Circe, honestly: if I got the sword your way, would it hurt our chances of using it to defeat the Evil Entity in our time?"

"What entity do you speak of?" asked Circe.

"It's a rebel Annunaki that's out to destroy the universe," said McGucket, who had picked up Greek. "From our research Ford and I found out it's associated with teams of five mystery solvers. It brings them together and then tries to corrupt them. Because a pure group can destroy it, but a corrupt group can free it."

"I have heard legends of this being. Domiclese, are you a member of a team like that?" asked Circe.

"Yes," said Dipper. "My sister is part of it, and so are our friends. We investigate mysteries in a place called Gravity Falls."

"Then... it could be a problem," said Circe. "I want you to be able to succeed in your mission. No-one wants the Evil Entity to win. He's on no side but his own. So, much as I would enjoy being with you, I will give you the sword freely."

She waved her arms and spoke a mystical phrase, and the sword appeared in her hands. She handed it to Dipper.

"Thank you," said Dipper.

"I will make it up to you," said Odysseus. "I will remain on this island with you for one month."

"One year," said Circe. "I would have had a child by Domiclese, but I will settle for two by the hero Odysseus."

Mabel whispered to Dipper, who looked shocked, "I think you dodged a bullet there, bro-bro."

"That will delay my friends too long in their mission," said Odysseus.

"No, now that we have what we came for, we can use magic to return to our own time," said Dipper.

"Very well, I accept your offer," said Odysseus, "As long my men and I can feast and drink wine with no fear of transformations."

"It is a deal," said Circe with a smile.

"Thank you, Circe and Odysseus. Gather close, everyone," said Dipper.

Dipper, Mabel, McGucket, Shaggy, and Scooby-Doo all bunched together as Dipper activated the device from the back of the painting to return them to their own time.


	12. Family Reunion

They returned to the attic bedroom and landed on the bed, which collapsed under their combined weight.

"Like, let's get out of here," said Shaggy.

Mabel fired her grappling hook down to a tree, and they used the line to zip down to the ground.

Soos, Wendy, and the other members of Mystery Incorporated were there waiting.

"You've got the sword?" Fred asked.

Dipper nodded, pointing to the weapon he had put through his belt.

"Who is this other person?" asked Velma.

"That's really complicated," said Mabel.

"I'm Fiddleford McGucket."

"In the body of the author of the journals, our other great-uncle," said Dipper. "There was a swap."

"Just as I suspected," said Velma.

"All right, we're set for the mission," said Fred. "Mystery Incorporated plus Gravity Incorporated needs to stop the Evil Entity."

"I'm ready," said Wendy with a grim smile, touching the axe at her belt.

"I'm ready too, dudes," said Soos. "I guess."

"We've got everyone else, but we couldn't find Waddles," said Daphne.

"No! Where could he have run off to?" asked Mabel. "Waddles!"

"If required, I believe we can use an animal mascot from a former team instead, such as Scooby-Doo or myself," said Pericles.

"You've become quite an expert on this all of a sudden, Pericles," said Fred,

"Many things are coming back to me from my former existence," said Pericles, with a cold glint in his eyes that went unnoticed.

"Soos, before we go, there's one thing I have to tell you," said Mabel.

"What's that, Mabel?" asked Soos.

"It's a big shock," said Dipper. "You might want to sit down."

Soos sat on the ground. "Okay dudes, I'm ready for anything."

"I'm your Mom," said Mabel.

"Umm, really? I don't get that... Wouldn't my Mom be older than me? Or am I all mixed up?"

"There's time travel involved," said Dipper. "It's quite a story."

"We'll tell you all about it after the mission," said Mabel.

"Like, if we survive it," said Shaggy.

"I just had to tell you the basics," said Mabel. "Just in case."

"That explains why I've always felt so close to you," said Soos. "May I have a hug, Mom?"

"Of course," said Mabel, hugging him.

"I'm your uncle," said Dipper. "Our real names are Domiclese and Callisto. And your name is Arkas."

"Too much info to handle at once, guys," said Wendy. "Can we stick to Dipper, Mabel, and Soos?"

"Sure, Wendy," said Dipper. "I'd like you to know something, too. I've been older than I look now. A bit older than you."

"I'll... keep that in mind," said Wendy.

* * *

They found the vending machine secret door open, with steps leading down.

"I had no idea this was here," said Dipper.

"Has Grunkle Stan been keeping secrets from us all along?" asked Mabel.

"Yep," said McGucket. "I'm sure he has."

"Agreed," said Periclese, who was perched on McGucket's shoulder.

They found an elevator with a combination code, and it was unlocked. Everyone got in.

"This is a bit too easy," said Fred, pushing the down button.

"Like, prepare for a trap," said Shaggy.

"Reah, a rap," said Scooby.

Pericles closed his eyes for a moment, and when he re-opened them they were yellow with vertical pupils.


End file.
